PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANNIE LEIBOVITZ in the Vanity Fair
This is How to Talk About Transgender Like a Discerning Gentleperson when you’re out in the world. But first we have to talk about travel as a political statement.
The very act of travel is political - whether you’re entering a National Park (set aside by the government), using your passport (issued by the government), paying hotel taxes, going somewhere promoted by a tourism board, etc etc.…you get the idea. You are making political choices throughout.
People love to say to travel writers - “don’t bring politics into travel.” But unfortunately it’s an impossibility. The air you love on that beach holiday that is clean is so because of federal regulations, the highway you’re doing your road trip on is funded by an infrastructure bill. You know that country that has the death penalty for gay folks? Well by going there and spending your time and money there…it’s all politics.
I think what’s more useful is to not blame and yell “politics” but to think about it differently - how does it affect me? How can I affect it? Is my boycott of the Beverly Hills Hotel completely thought-out? How can it let me open my mind? Travel is always (partly) motivated by your beliefs - and yes view this in context of yourself sure, but also in the frame of reference of others…and thus, transgender people in the world…let’s discuss.
Bruce Jenner was on the Wheaties box in all his glory 40 years ago and again on another less glorious box feuding his (to respect Jenner's request, we are using male pronouns for the past) family on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” We have seen the Bruce then, the Bruce now and I had some, very legitimate, questions for Caitlyn. I interviewed her for Playboy magazine, and we covered some of the trans basics. Annoyingly Playboy.com overhauled their website and I lost that article. But for someone traveling the world, and thinking about trans rights it probably starts with getting the basics right…
Bruce Jenner, an American hero gold medal Olympian and reality television celebrity, entered 16.9 million people’s living rooms on a simple Friday when he came out as a woman a few years ago - Welcome Cait! In that interview with Diane Sawyer on ABC News Jenner brought the first of many milestone moments to the transgender community – finally someone came out and did it with real heart. Whether you’re a Jenner fan, or not, there was oozings of heart.
“Although Jenner represents a small wealthy section of the community and not the larger disenfranchised part, he is by far the biggest name to come out publically and share his story,” says Dr. Scout a federal government paid LGBTQ Health trainer and the director of LGBT HealthLink.
A study shows that 1.6% of the population identifies as transgender and according to Scout these numbers are increasing. Someone from the transgender community will enter and exit the lives of any discerning person, and so a handbook is more than useful. “Don’t bother memorizing terminology – everyone can smell good intentions,” says Dr. Scout.
So here are a few notes to take with you on the road from Dr. Scout:
What exactly is transgender?
It's a determinate feeling that your gender does not match the sex you were assigned at birth. Transgender is a gender identity and has no relation (necessarily) to who you go to bed with.
Gender identity is different to sexual orientation in what way?
Sexual orientation indicates whom you partner with. Gender identity indicates whom you are inside. Everyone has a sexual orientation (lesbian, gay, bisexual, straight and more) and a gender identity (cisgender, transgender and more).
Someone tells you they are trans, what do you say?
If someone announces they are trans, just thank them for being so honest.
Give me a pronoun to use please.
Just ask. Even if you don’t get it right, just apologize quickly and move on.
What's the difference between transgender and transexual?
Language is ever changing and so the definitions of these terms are fluid and evolving as we speak. However right now, Transexual traditionally means people who fit in the gender binary of male or female however they identify with the exact opposite category than they were assigned at birth. Transgender on the other hand has two meanings. It can be utilized as a term to assemble gender variant terminology. Look at it this way: car is the hypernym but Mercedes, Corvette all fit under it. Or it can mean someone who doesn’t perfectly fit male or female. These people may feel in between the genders, or as a third gender. Endless possibilities.
Is there necessarily surgery involved?
Some choose to have surgeries (or not). A discerning human won’t discuss unmentionables in polite conversation. A person’s private parts have nothing to do with their gender identity.
Any other identity names I should be using?
Echo back terminology that a trans person uses – that is the best way to respect them. Supportively you can also say to others: "I'm pleased to say my Aunt Sheila is now my Uncle Robert."
What else should I do?
Welcome us ferociously. Don't be silent. Stand up for our rights whenever you can. Educate yourself on whether your state/school/hospital protects trans rights -- fight for it if it doesn’t. If you serve people in any way, put out some signal that you're welcoming: maybe a rainbow flag. If you have a trans youth in your life, reach out to support them as you might be a lifeline for them. Support groups are always helpful: LGBT CenterLink and the Trans Lifeline is (877) 565-8860.