THE ULTIMATE FREEZING, ABSOLUTELY FROZEN WINTER SEASON GIFT GUIDE
Holiday gift guides are so, like, last year
It’s that time of year. Ho Ho Ho! Or however you verbalize it.
Some love it so very much, some too much (annoying) and others simply hate it (Grinch!). Or if you’re like me, you’ve just given in to Mariah Carey’s money-making song playing over and over in your head, and in the subway, and the CVS and the airport and your mother in law’s kitchen, because fighting it seems far too exhausting.
And also, maybe the world needs a little (more) love. Sentimental, sure, and that’s a lot coming from me. But you know, it’s been a long year. So this guide is for you, if you have a tricky secret santa situation (and it’s impossible not to offend). Or if your friend is against waste and plastic and anything new, and they’ll have something snarky to say no matter what you give them. Or if you’re going to a holiday party where you’re not sure if it’s a swinger set up, or a potluck. Or if you’re finally off the Zoom holiday setups (that were forgivable during a pandemic) and now having to visit extended family in absolutely Arctic Canada, to make nice-nice because you didn’t do enough for them, ever. Or if you have everything you could possibly want in the whole wide world, but can’t help giving in to capitalism and consumerism…
This gift guide is also useful to email forward to anyone who’s been incessantly asking you what you’d like for one of the many Hanukkah days or under the Xmas tree. So think of this little directory — sometimes gifts for oneself is also perfectly acceptable — as something that makes sense with the impending El Niño weather system that is going to make this holiday season — and early next year — absolutely freezing, wet, icy and snowy. You will be soon saying words like Arctic Blast and SnowBombs, and perhaps a tear will roll (and immediately freeze) down your face…I really want you, and whomever you’re gifting to, be extra prepared.
It’s true, the puffer is just depressing. It works, I admit. And I did see the Pope in his AI generated white puffer, but still it just doesn’t look dapper. So if you’re after something insulated that you can actually feel good about wearing: The Icebreaker knit bomber is exactly what you need. Sexier than you imagined, right?
And you know what you should pair that with? The most gorgeous Italian wool coat from Quince. Because now you’re out of the puffer era and into a beautiful sumptuous movie star era. Hence, this beauty. Think Gregory Peck or Rock Hudson as chic as they’ve ever been. And yes, single breasted, naturally. That’s all that is ever acceptable.
I don’t know what it is about the holidays, but for some reason underwear (or socks) are almost always a rather perfect gift. Well, you want them to be comical (but not too funny) and incredibly warm. That’s why SAXX Jingle bones underwear works for a stocking stuffer, or inches more.
I am forever somewhere cold and I want to be able to walk around town for hours and hours without freezing. It took me years to work it out, but this is the best thing for being outside and being able to still dress nicely. Because no, you should not look like you’re hitting the slopes when you’re exploring Budapest (PS, stay at the gorgeous new W Hotel), or really cold Montreal. I say top to bottom in Smartwool’s Merino wool base layers.
Speaking of walking, what’s hard is that you want to be able to walk basically all day, as you go for lunch, explore, see art and meet new people — but you want cozy feet. I found Cariuma Therma – black on black on black of course – vegan shearling, vegan suede and enough recycled materials to make you feel very good about the world. It looks chic enough to cruise around all day, but not like you’re doing it in your workout shoes.
My grandmother would have lovingly called these “haus schuhe” and would have run out to grab the paper in the morning wearing them with her dogs running next to her. I would wear these flexible wool Glerups boots around the house, but also to pop downstairs to take the pup out, and grab a coffee on the most freezing New York flurry morning. Wool for warmth and dryness, you couldn’t ask for more from a shoe. Also great for travel as they fold up nicely in your luggage.
Is it just that I love the little hare logo? As I mentioned before, Merino wool should be on your mind at all times. And you should tell everyone about it. The Downeaster Hoodie from Tracksmith over a t-shirt and under another layer like a jacket of some sort (they have beautiful ones) will offer the happiness you deserve. Also when you see the hurried hare logo it will make you smile. That’s worth a lot.
Last but oh-so-certainly not least is the perfect, and when I say perfect I mean it, glove. Yes it needs to be leather (vegan or otherwise), because a gentleperson is always doing it with style. I mean, yes, it just looks better this way. So the Land’s End leather glove with cashmere inside is what I am talking about. You’d want to be a hand model just for this. That cuts it right? You should be very very organized at this point.
Postscript: As someone who spent the last few winters in California, it is a joy to be back in New York to brave this insane cold. So maybe this gift guide is really for me.